life's next lesson

In the past several years I have gone through periods of themes. I suppose God knows that I tend to listen best when multiple sources are all telling (& sometimes yelling) at me with the same message. Some of the more notable heavenly lessons have been patience (several times, in fact - do we ever stop having to learn more about this?), waiting, trust God/in God, stop telling God 'no', and be still & draw near. Starting this last Thursday at Bible study, and again Friday, and yet again earlier this afternoon, and can you believe again just a few moments ago a singular phrase won't depart from my studies: 'Fear not!'

I have dealt with this before between me and God, me and teachers, me and coaches, me French horn teacher, and me and friends ... and I have never been able to come to any real resolution. I don't want to play that game anymore.

So what's the real issue? I am so paralyzingly afraid of failing. What if God calls me to something and I am incapable to accomplish it, inexperienced, or not fit for the task? In my head I know His promises. He does not call us without equipping us. His strength (His ability to do) is made perfect in my weakness (my inability to do). God will never fail me or leave me.

The prescription: application of the cumulative lessons. A step of faith forward (wherever that happens to be) knowing that I can trust God to be God, wait upon His timing to act or to speak, be still enough to hear His heart beat. Oh yeah, and when God says, 'okay my child. Your turn. And don't worry; my hands will always encompass yours,' He means it. Too bad my heart is a slower study than my head. I have an aching feeling I will be in this lesson longer than this weekend.